Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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