we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
