This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
