moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
