You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Randomize
