boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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