Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(706): View more from Georgia

Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn

(706): View more from Georgia

And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her

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(847): View more from Illinois

Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.

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(864): View more from South Carolina

We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".

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(201): View more from New Jersey

just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.

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(631): View more from New York

You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows

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(513): View more from Ohio

im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know

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(319): View more from Iowa

i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines

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(707): View more from California

Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.

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(812): View more from Indiana

Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.

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