I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
