i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
