She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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