I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
There r osticjed everywhere
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
