i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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