great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
