i may or may not be watching the land before time
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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