i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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