why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
