So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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