Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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