Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
