dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize