She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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