do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
there was a trapeze. enough said
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
