That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize