i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
