My brain says no but my pants say off.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
