We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
