How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I am available for nakedness
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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