The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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