Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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