So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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