i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
foreskin is a definite game changer
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
