I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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