just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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