i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
