that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Semen is not good for contacts.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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