it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
