my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I think pants incapable of making pants work
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
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