Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
