so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
