What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
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