Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
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