Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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