Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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