Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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