I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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