We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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