Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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