Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize