They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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