You're completely useless in the revolution.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
