I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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