Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
MIDGETS
????
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
