Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
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