At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
