Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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