i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize