dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
