No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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