I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
