Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
