I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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