Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
