dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I wish you could order shots online.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Randomize
