Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
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