sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
